


Always By Your Side

by awgaskarth0805



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26289070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awgaskarth0805/pseuds/awgaskarth0805
Summary: Jack helps Alex through a hard time in his life.
Kudos: 3





	Always By Your Side

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story based off of my personal life from a few months ago, and it might be a bit triggering, so please don't read if you're not comfortable with that!

“Alright guys, I think I’m going to call it a night and head back to my dorm, I have an eight AM tomorrow morning, and I have some work I have to do that’s back in my dorm. Do you guys want to work on this more tomorrow afternoon?” Jack asked his biology group, stretching as he stood up for the first time in over an hour.  
“That’s cool, I think we’re all ready to be done with this for now. Should we meet at the same time tomorrow?” one of the other group members suggested.  
“That sounds good to me. Have a good rest of your night, guys,”   
Jack quickly packed up his things, then walked up the stairs of the library, to get back to the ground level. Once he got outside, he debated waiting for the campus shuttle so he wouldn’t have to walk all the way back to his dorm but decided against it. He had a decent amount of work in front of him, and he decided that walking would be a productive way to push it off just a little longer.   
As he walked to his dorm, he started to wonder what his roommate and friend, Alex, was doing, and if he was back at their dorm yet. Jack always looked forward to talking with Alex at the end of the day, especially about their common interests, which is how they became friends.   
Eventually, Jack finally reached the building he lived in, so he walked inside, and went over to the elevator, riding it up to the fifth floor. He walked over to room 502 and let himself in with his ID card. Alex was sitting at his desk, staring at something on his phone, with a distressed look on his face.  
“Hey Alex, what’s up?” Jack asked, as he took a seat at his desk.  
“Oh, hey Jack. Not very much, I have some homework to do, so I don’t think I’ll be going to bed anytime soon,” Alex said, finally looking up from his phone. This caused Jack to notice how out of it Alex looked. He had dark bags under his eyes, and just looked sad.  
“That’s fine with me, I have some stuff to work on, too. I was just in the library working on my biology project with my group,”  
“That sounds boring, but at least you’ve accomplished more than I have today,”   
Alex’s tone was very cynical and sarcastic, and he even sounded a bit disappointed in himself.  
“That’s debatable, we were super stuck for a bit, so it took a while to start getting things done. How’s your homework going?”  
“I don’t really know, I’ve not done a lot,”  
“Oh, okay. Hey, did you go to the dining hall for dinner tonight? They had the best fish thing ever tonight!” Jack said with a smile, which quickly turned into a frown, when he realized how out of it Alex really was.  
“No, I haven’t eaten since, like, ten this morning,” Alex replied in a small voice.  
“Dude, it’s almost ten at night, which means you haven’t had anything in about twelve hours. Do you want something now? I have some soup and rice that I can heat up for you, if you’d like it,” Jack offered.  
“Nah, I’m okay, I have food in here, too, and I’ll make it if I end up wanting it,”   
Alex looked down and started to play with the hem of his shirt, and Jack knew that he had to do something, since Alex’s words and behavior were both concerning him so much.  
“Hey Alex, are you okay?” Jack started, his feelings of concern quickly rising.  
“Um, yeah, I’m fine,” Alex quickly said, obviously wanting to avoid the question.  
“Alex, I’m not stupid, I know that’s not true. Will you please be honest about this? I really want to help you and be here for you, but that’s hard to do if I don’t even know what the problem is,”   
Alex looked at Jack, then quickly back down, nervous to say anything.  
“I know, but I feel like I rant to you too much. I don’t want to be annoying, or make you sick of me, just because I don’t have my shit together,”  
“I get that, and I’d probably feel the same way if this were the other way around, but I promise you everything you’re thinking about me getting annoyed with you won’t actually happen. Besides, I’ve ranted to you a decent amount of times, as well, and you always say you don’t mind,” Jack pointed out, knowing that this would probably be enough to finally convince Alex to talk about whatever was going on.  
“I guess that’s true. I don’t know, dude, I just feel like I can’t keep my head above water right now,”   
“What do you mean? Are you super stressed about your classes or something?”  
“It’s more than just that. There definitely is some school stress going on, like, my English class is discussion based, which terrifies me, the workload in my French class is stupid for a 100-level course, and stats makes absolutely no sense to me. My professor fucking sucks, and I actually need that class for my major, since the math is important for the research methods class I’ll take next semester, I think,” Alex started, sounding more stressed as he went on.  
“All of that really blows, man. Maybe you could go to the tutoring center for stats, so someone could explain it in a way that might end up making more sense to you,”   
“I could, but I kind of don’t care enough to do that. I just want to get through the damn class, then be done with it. I took it two years ago in high school, and felt confused then, and it’s so much worse now, thanks to my shitty teacher, and the worst textbook ever,”  
“Well, maybe you’ll change your mind about the tutoring center eventually. About your English class, though, you love reading and writing. I know you don’t love speaking up in class, but is it really that bad?” Jack continued.  
“My teacher seems to think that her opinion on things is the only correct one, and I don’t want to look stupid in front of the class for having a different idea than her. That class makes my anxiety spike, and I hate it so much,”   
Alex grabbed a half drank cup of iced coffee and took a sip of it.  
“I’d probably hate that, too, your professor seems annoying. By the way, should you really be drinking iced coffee this late at night?”  
“Well, no, but it’s probably fine. It’s kind of my dinner at this point, I guess,” Alex laughed cynically, taking another sip.  
“Dude, why haven’t you eaten today? I know you know you shouldn’t do that to yourself,”  
“I don’t know, I just didn’t want to,”  
“Alex, what’s the real reason? Are you feeling bad about yourself?” Jack gently asked, not wanting to be too harsh about this.  
“This is really hard for me to talk about, but yes. My relationship with food has gotten really awful this semester,” Alex admitted, sounding embarrassed.  
“What do you mean, man?”   
“Every time I eat makes me feel, weird, for lack of a better word. I definitely gained some weight within the last year, which is frustrating, and I hate it. I know this isn’t good, but not eating sometimes is a way to control this frustration for me. Also, it’s a bit unconscious now, like, sometimes I’ll just forget to eat, especially if I have coffee, because it keeps me full,”   
A few tears started to appear in Alex’s eyes.  
“I know you know this, but that’s really not good, man. I know feeling insecure about yourself can be hard, but you have to eat,”  
“I know that, but it’s so hard to get myself to do it sometimes. I can’t even look in the mirror without getting upset. I almost feel afraid to eat something unhealthy when I go to the dining hall, so I’ve only gotten salads, fruit, and water, which still feels like too much sometimes. I can’t stop thinking about myself like this, which freaks me out, but I don’t know how to go about fixing it,”   
Tears started to stream down Alex’s face, and he quickly started to wipe them away.  
“Well, I’ll do what I can to try to help you remember to eat, but I can’t totally fix this for you. I can’t continually monitor you, but hopefully you won’t need that as time goes on, hopefully you’ll start to feel better about yourself. That being said, I’m here for you, and will always be willing to talk with you about this. Personally, I think you look just fine, but I understand how you feel, and I promise it’ll get easier over time,” Jack sincerely said to Alex, who still wasn’t looking directly at him.  
“Thank you, Jack, I’ve really needed to talk about that, almost every journal entry I’ve written within the last couple months has been about how I don’t like myself, and how I look in particular. It’s so mentally draining and makes getting out of bed to start my day so fucking hard. Well, that might also be because of my lack of sleep,”  
“What do you mean? We go to sleep around the same time,”  
“No, we get in bed around the same time. I stay up on my phone and watch videos, and scroll through social media, and other stuff like that, until about two or three every night. I know I shouldn’t do that, but it’s, like, impossible for me to fall asleep earlier than that,”  
“I think the coffee late at night might be contributing to that. Alex, you’ve got to sleep more, it’ll make your classes feel less intense if you actually get a proper night’s rest. Your mental health and perception of yourself might even improve from that, too,” Jack pointed out.  
“That makes sense, but I feel so stuck mentally, that it feels like nothing will fix it. That’s why I’ve been writing songs so often, they’re like an escape for me. Some of them are about how I feel, and my problems, but some of them are a bit happier. That’s the only thing that brings me any joy right now, but I feel like I suck at it, which just bums me out even more,”  
“Alex, I’m sure that all of your work is great. All of the songs you’ve let me see are awesome,” Jack tried.  
“Yeah, those are the ones I’m the most confident about. I just feel like I’m not good enough at anything,” Alex’s voice cracked, as he tried to hold back more tears.  
“I get what you mean, I’ve felt like that before about myself, but it’s not true, I promise. I think you’re great and have so much potential, with your music, school, and everything else in between. You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and it breaks my heart to hear you talk so negatively about yourself,”  
“Well, I appreciate the concern, but I’ll be okay eventually. Sorry for making you listen to all of that. I feel like I’ve ranted to you a lot this semester so far, and that it gets really annoying,” Alex stated in a small voice.  
“I’ve told you this before, but it doesn’t bother me at all, I promise. I care about you a lot, and your friendship has changed my life. You can always talk to me when you need to, and I’ll always be ready to listen. Don’t feel like you’re being annoying, it’s really okay,”   
“Thank you, Jack, that really does mean the world to me. I’ve always felt bad rambling like this, but the fact that you’re always willing to help and listen means a lot. I’m so glad we’re friends,”  
“Me too, man,” Jack said with a smile.  
“No, like, I really am. This semester has been so hard for me because my mind has constantly been in shambles, form the lack of sleep and confidence, and the schoolwork, but just having you in my life has made this semester so much more tolerable. I don’t think I could be getting through it at all if it weren’t for you and our friendship. You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me, and I really do mean that. Thanks for being such an awesome friend,” Alex stated, finally looking up at Jack to show how serious he was.  
“You’re welcome, Alex. Our friendship means a lot to me, too. You’ve helped me through some shit, as well, which means a lot. I care abut you a lot, and I promise that things will get better. I’ll be here for you every step of the way,” Jack promised, as a few more tears slipped out of Alex’s eyes.  
“You really are the best. Hey, I guess we should work on some homework, since it’s only getting later,” Alex suggested, looking at the time on his laptop.  
“Shit, you’re right. Are you going to be okay for now?”   
“Yeah, I’ll be fine, let’s get to work,” The two of them shared a smile before looking at their computers, figuring out what assignments to work on.  
Alex knew he had a long way to go before he’d be genuinely okay again but having such a wonderful friend like Jack certainly did make what was arguably the darkest time in his life a bit brighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I had a different fic written to post today, but I got the idea for this at about three in the morning last night, and wrote it when I woke up. This fic basically describes my experience with everything last semester, and I wanted to write it for two reasons. The first being, I've realized that things have gone up for me since then, so it was a nice self reflection. Also, I based Jack off of a very good friend, and I wanted to write this as sort of a thank you to her. A lot of the dialogue is similar to actual conversations we had, and what was in the journal I kept at the time. This one is a bit hard to post, but I wanted to share it, because it could help someone, and I wanted to be able to go back to it if I need to hear some of these things again. As always, please send in requests if you have them, maybe something happier than what I've been posting lately aha, but please send any ideas in that you want written! Thank you, guys, for reading, it means the world. Lots of love, Liv.


End file.
